It has been 18 days since I left my site, my second home, my friends, my students and co-workers. 18 days ago I rang the famous ceremonial bell in the Peace Corps office and officially finished my service as an environmental educator in Nicaragua. 26 months serving abroad have finally come to an end, This experience has been by far the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life, but also one of the most rewarding.The incredible people, places and experiences I was fortunate to encounter have formed me into a more global sensitive person (or at least I hope so). I came into Peace Corps, like many do, with the desire to change the world, when really it is us who change. Change to be more tolerant, patient and understanding of places, people and cultures different than your own. 

That last week in Nicaragua was one of the most sad but joyful weeks of my life. If you have kept up with my blog than you know that Peace Corps was not easy for me. I struggled quite a lot and was close to terminating my service, and yet here I am now...a RETURNED PEACE CORPS VOLUNTEER :) I was ecstatic to finally be going home, to my family, my friends and my comforts, but also dreadfully sad to be leaving my new friends and family I had gained in two years. 

As my months to leave became weeks,and weeks to days I was not looking forward to saying goodbye. Part pf me just wanted to pack my bags and leave my site in the middle of the night, in order to avoid all those goodbyes. I didn't even plan a farewell party like many other PCVs had done so. I just didn't have it in me to do anything, part of me felt that no one would show up. But on my last week, I was very surprised by my friends in site. I didn't have one goodbye party...I had 4! All wonderfully planned by my friends in site that I had made during my two years. I cried many many happy tears during my last days. Saying goodbye to my host family was really rough! And seeing so many of my students crying and asking me not to leave made all those tough moments in service a little less tough. 

I know I did not get all the projects I wanted to started in my site, but I feel so incredibly content with everything that I did and didn't accomplish during my 26 months. I gained a plethora of friends that I will treasure forever, and I look forward to returning to Nicaragua. 

That's right, the countdown begins! Only 20 days left in Nicaragua and my mind is EVERYWHERE! I finally need to start thinking seriously about my life back in the states while also focusing on my final projects here in Nicaragua. On top of that, I need to get ready to say goodbye to a country I have called home for the past two years. 

At the end of July (it's been a while), my group had their COS conference (Close of Service). It was a three day trip with our staff to focus on finishing our service and preparing to return to the US. As a group we had to give a presentation to all of our staff and the Ambassador of the US to Nicaragua (in spanish) about our service, and we killed it! With lees than 1 month left between me and beautiful California, it's hard to contain my excitement. This adventure has been wonderful, but oh so challenging. I'm taking with me so many beautiful memories but also some not so good ones, and I need to figure out how to deal with all of that in the next month. COS conference was A LOT to deal with because everyone from my group is in different points with their service and life back in the states. Some already have jobs lined up, others don't, most are worried about dealing with living in the US after living abroad for 2 years. I'm blessed to be going back to a job and grad school, so I will be busy so as not to feel like I'm losing my mind!

I also got to finally experience my first Nicaraguan wedding. I was fortunate to be a part of my host-mom's wedding before I left. Nicaraguan weddings are simpler than US weddings, more focus on family and friend interactions than extravagant decorations. 

During the July break, I was lucky to spend time with my boyfriend who came to visit me in Nicaragua as an RPCV almost a year after finishing his service. Although he got terribly sick during his time here, we didn't waste any time to have fun and hang out with our god-daughters. We went to our favorite spots in Nicaraguan: Granada and Leon, and I got to visit the zoo in my site one last time before leaving. I finally got to see the gorilla dance...pretty barbaric but I didn't want to finish my service and miss out on that experience. 
Random note: If you are ever in Granada, check out the restaurant and hotel "El Torito". It was really cheap with A/C, hot water, breakfast and a free complimentary drink. 

Although I FINALLY feel extremely content and happy with my accomplishments as a Peace Corps Volunteer, I don't know if I'll be ready for the fast paced life-style of the US. I kind of like just sitting in a rocking chair for three hours and not doing anything. Will I have this is the US too? I have all these questions running through my brain about what I might lose once I am back stateside. 

What am I most excited about returning to the states?: Multiple things, I can't narrow it down to just one. Most importantly, my family, friends and boyfriend. I will be back home with my family for two weeks before moving back to Monterey and I AM SO EXCITED!! It will be the first time in almost 27 months where I will be visiting and won't have to worry about being thousands of miles away. I'm excited to share what I experienced in Nicaragua, the good and the bad. I'm excited to go back to school to finish my master's degree, I really miss being intellectually challenged. I'm excited to be living back by the ocean and visit the Monterey aquarium each day. And I am super excited to finally start teaching in my own classroom with my own students :D I'm excited for driving, Trader Joe's, TARGET, cheese, not sweating every second of my life, wifi everywhere, bagels, bacon, strawberries (mostly food). 

What am I most worried about returning to the states?: My biggest fear, my anxiety disorder. This was something that developed during Peace Corps, and it is a constant burden that I deal with in varying degrees. I am not where I was during my first year, where I couldn't even leave my room, but I still struggle to some degree. And the constant nagging question in my mind is, will this disorder be coming back with me to the US? How will I deal with that in my own country? Guess I'll just have to wait and see.

What will I miss most from Nicaragua: The people who have been my family for the past two year. I have gotten accustomed to a routine of going over people's houses and just staying there for hours, and getting endless free food. When in the US can you just show up to a friends house (uninvited) and stay for 6 hours just because you want to hangout? I'm really going to miss my students, especially from the ecological brigades. I learned a lot from my sixth graders about being a teacher, and I hope I can translate that knowledge once back in California. 

What will I not miss from Nicaragua: Constant mosquito bites, they are the worst! Sweating, ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Don't matter if I am walking, sitting or sleeping, I am most likely sweating. Depending on public transportation for EVERYTHING. Cold showers, I never did get used to them. Losing water and electricity at random times for days. Catcalling (this really should be number 1). 

As of two weeks ago, I stopped teaching at both my schools (which is my primary job in Peace Corps) in order to focus on finishing my secondary projects I'm working on. Not teaching is also given me so much free time to just hang out with people, or watch too much tv at home...NO REGRETS!

It's been more than three months since my last blog post...oops. I'd like to think I've been busy with work...I'll tell myself I have :) As of today, I have exactly 77 days left in Nicaragua, WHAT?! But before I talk about finishing my service, lets talk about what I've been up to. 

Adventures:

Back in May, one of my close friends back from graduate school in California came to visit me from Panama, where she is finishing her Peace Corps service as an Aggie (Agriculture volunteer). And we had a blast! I brought her to my site for her to experience what my days are like and well....teaching isn't for everyone (and she went on a good day). But my students enjoyed having her in class with us and she got a taste of what other sectors around the world do during their service. We then went to some of my favorite cities in Nicaragua: Masaya, Granada and Leon. 

Masaya: This city is cute, but after a while it becomes too overwhelming for me. They have great artisan markets (one where all the Nicas shop and one where all the foreigners shop). The old market has many of the same things as the newer market, only significantly cheaper. They are great places to buy souvenirs and gifts. I will definitely be returning before the end of my service.  ​

Leon: I just recently discovered Leon, and although I still prefer Granada, it has some cool things. On this trip, I did something I never expected myself to do...VOLCANO BOARDING! For those who don't know what volcano boarding is, it's exactly what it sounds like. They give you a board, you climb a volcano (Cerro Negro to be exact) and then at the top, come flying down while sitting on the board! It was an okay experience (probably the first PCV to ever say that). After doing it I realized it is definitely not for me, but it was cool to try it out. My friend and I were the last two to go, so we decided to go at the same time and "race". The first thing I realized is how scratched up my goggles were, I COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING! So that's probably a main contributor to not really enjoying the whole experience. As I started to gain speed, I decided to risk looking to my side to see where my friend was. I didn't see her and started to smile and think to myself "I'm going to win" when all of a sudden ZOOM! She flys past me and I just start laughing. It was one of the most surreal things to see someone go so fast down a volcano. But it doesn't end there. I started to shout "Go Genevieve" when CRASH! She hits a rock right as she is reaching the end and goes FLYING! I mean flying, tumbling, crashing, it was one of the scariest things I've ever witnessed, and my goggles restricted me from seeing most of it. I slowly came to a stop at the end of the volcano and just started to my right as the other people on the tour ran up to help her. And the best thing I could muster to say was "Is she dead?!" HA! She slowly rose her thumb up at me and we continued on our way. She was fine, only a few scratches here and there. But we learned something, volcano boarding is not for everyone. The hike is not long (about 45 minutes) and it was a beautiful drive out to Cerro Negro. Perhaps if I could have seen better through my goggles and not seen my friend crashing down a volcano, I would have had a more "enjoyable experience". I don't regret it, but I will not be doing that ever again.
We also got to climb the Leon Cathedral for about 3 dollars and it was SO WORTH IT! We went during closing time which was perfect because the sun was almost down so our feet didn't burn (aren't allowed to go up there with shoes on). It was so WHITE and clean. And apparently made with egg shells, HOW COOL?! 

Celebrations!

I was able to help set up one of my god-daughters surprise birthday parties back in May. It was awesome! It was a great feeling of just focusing completely on my friendships rather than my primary role as a Peace Corps volunteer. I think sometimes, I forget that my service will not be determined by the amount of classes I taught, teacher trainings I gave or school gardens and nurseries I helped put together, but rather by the lives that have welcomes me so closely into their lives that they gladly invite me to blow up balloons for hours at their home. My friends will be what I am going to miss the most, and I'm hoping to take full advantage of the last 76 days I have left. 

Also, I was very fortunate to get to return to the US for the last time before COSing in October to see my only brother marry his best friend :) Honestly, this was the only trip I had planned to go to the states before leaving for the Peace Corps, and I have since returned home 4 times!!! It really is possible to visit your family back home (if that is a worry you have), you just need to save up your vacation days. This was an interesting trip home with my service close to ending. I am now starting to reflect more clearly on what I have accomplished and what I would possibly like to contribute to my community before I leave. It was a nice way to recharge and return ready to give it my all for my last two months left in site. 

Projects:

Apart from planning thousands of science classes and actually teaching maybe half (school gets cancelled A LOT), I have been able to keep myself busy with some projects that really make me happy :)
I have said it multiple times, if I could have spent two years just painting murals in my community I would have been the happiest volunteer, but I've only been able to help other PCVs with the community murals, still a nice fix once in a while. I was asked to draw out the mural in the PCV's town closest to me and of course I said "I'M READY NOW!" It's so great what some paints can do for the soul. I love to draw and getting to draw on giant wall was so therapeutic, we just painted and talked about our last remaining months as Peace Corps volunteers.

I've also gotten to focus a lot of time transplanting marango trees with my ecological brigade! Last year, all of the trees had a sad ending (for various reasons) and none of the saplings in the nursery survived. This year I changed it up a bit. I asked each student to take theirs home and bring it back to school when it was tall and healthy. We have now planted around 10 marango trees and one tamarind tree at my urban school. And the kids LOVE getting to play with dirt, I just sit around taking their pictures. 
We also planted a small bed of radishes since they are the quickest to grow, and I figured since I don't have much time left I'll be around for my students to harvest some radishes. 

As for my last 2.5 months in site, who knows what life has in store. Right now, it has been a lot of paper work, emails, skype calls, etc. trying to get ready to return to school to finish my last semester of grad school. Almost forgot I was here working on that hahahaha. Although Master's International is no longer a thing begin offered, I'm glad I made the choice to do grad school and Peace Corps together because they both complimented each other a lot, and I will be able to cater my last semester to best fit my new found love for teaching. 

With month 20 almost done, I am reflecting on what I've been doing these past months and what I "should"...maybe...do with my last 7 months in Nicaragua. The new environment group arrives in August and as I read all their messages of anxious questions and excitement for arriving, I can't help but look back on these 20 months. 
I've decided to make this post about projects I've been up to these past three months that as an environment volunteer you can get involved in. First up: 

Sustainable ovens: 
All environment volunteers receive a training on how to build sustainable ovens in their communities, and you may choose to use those skills or not. These ovens use better wood and are built with a chimney, that way less dangerous smoke travels into the baker's systems. Since I live in a huge departmental capital (+75,000 people), this project seemed a bit overwhelming to execute, so instead I have bettered my oven building skills by helping other Peace Corps volunteers build ovens in their communities. The thing about stoves, is they are A LOT of work, and no two ovens are exactly alike (don't even get me started on the complexity of stoves), so I have had a range of experiences with these builds. In early March, I helped the volunteer closest to me (45 mins away on bus), with her oven project. This was the first oven I was building since the training early on in my service so I was a bit rusty in my abilities. The volunteer who I went to help however was on the last of the 10 ovens she was building, so she was a good guide in remembering the ups and downs. And we successfully finished in less than 4 hours (very unlikely when building an oven), our only help was an 80 year old man and his son. I was pleased with the work and felt like I was ready to build another 10. 

A few weeks after that, I got asked by a health volunteer for help on building a stove in a rural community near her site, to which I said BRING IT ON. And boy did this oven bring it. After a very successful oven building a month before, I felt like I could conquer the world with my new found oven building skills. But like I mentioned before, no two ovens are the same. This oven was a little...on the risky side. For one, we started with not enough tools (to which we found out later), bricks of all different shapes and sizes, and an insane building site. Wondering how long this oven building took...TWO FULL DAYS! None of us really knew what we were doing, but we did our best to fake it. We cracked our heads, sweated way too much and touched way too much horse poop. But after two long and laborious days (I really can't think of having done anything else more laborious in my life before that), we FINISHED! And it came out just like the picture said it would ;). 

Tree Nursery:
One of the requirements for an environmental volunteers is to make a tree nursery with your students at your schools. This year I learned from the endless mistakes of last years tree nurseries and decided that well-managed small scale would be best, as opposed to over achieving, way too many to care for tree nursery. This year we planted a total of 20 trees with my ecological brigade at my urban school. The schools dirt is not very fertile, hard and very rocky so I decided to go to one of the local nurseries to buy dirt. But of course, the one day I want to buy dirt is the one day they DON'T HAVE ANY! Who just runs out of dirt. Well, my students had to plant with the dirt from the school, worried that the plants wouldn't grow. But all the trees have germinated and are growing in healthy and strong. The students enjoyed getting to play with dirt and learning the proper way to plant and care for their trees. I had three members from my ecological brigade last year participate in the planting to show the newbies how to do it (I WAS SO PROUD). The tree nursery planting was accompanied by a mini charla on the importance and uses of marango trees (which is what we used). I'm hoping that in a few weeks we will be able to transplant them to their permanent home. 

Earth Day Celebrations:
I am blessed to be born on the best holiday...EARTH DAY! This year I got to share my favorite book with my students and pretty much everyone that was around, El Lorax. Dr. Seuss is a genius in conveying such a tough topic (deforestation) in terms a child can understand and appreciate. 
This year I was also fortunate to make another Earth Day mural. Last year I designed one for my rural school and worked on it with my students. This year, a private school asked if I could donate a mural to their school for Earth Day to which I said HECK YES! 

Ecological field trips:
I am blessed with a very active Ecological Brigade (a club for students interested in environmental issues). They are the ones in charge of making the tree nurseries, school gardens, murals and other environmental activities. Every so often, I like to treat them to a trip in their community. We've gone to the museum, farms, the river, and other places. This month we went to the zoo. The students loved getting to see the animals, they let us feed the goats, we got to see how an animal is cared for by vets and played in the jungle gym. I was exhausted and feel asleep at 7pm that day, but trips like these are always worth the extra work, and the kids love them. I felt like a crazed mama chicken trying to keep track of 20 hyper sixth graders running around the zoo. 

Yep...I have. Once as a joke and once very seriously, just a few weeks ago. I arrived back to Nicaragua from my second visit home 18 days ago, after three weeks at home. 2014 took some rocky turns towards the end, if you've read my previous post you know that I struggled for months with what I thought were asthma attacks, to actually be panic attacks and got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and social phobia: two things that don't blend well when you're an education Peace Corps Volunteer. Despite the struggles, I was given all the necessary help through Peace Corps and learned how to work with my diagnosis. Going home for the holidays was not in my original plans, but after getting sick, I felt that being with my family would be the best way to recharge for my last year in Nicaragua. 
I arrived home on the 22nd of December and was there until the 11th of January. Three weeks that were wonderfully spent with family, but also three weeks of immense pain. Sadly, my grandmother passed away on the 28th of December. She was the best grandmother ever. Always received me with a hug, prayed for me when I left on long trips, always gave me wonderful snacks. One thing I'll always remember about her is the yearly calendar she gave me from one of the many wildlife charities she donated to. I lived in her house all my life in Ontario, California,until I moved out to go to college. I visited my grandmother at the hospital the night before her passing and still remember the smile she put on her cute wrinkly face. She had no idea I would be coming to see her. The weeks to follow after her death were hard on all of us. When the day came for me to head back to Nicaragua, I left wrong. Back in June when I went home, I felt ready and excited to head back, this time I didn't.
I cried the entire three hour bus ride from the airport to my site family's home, and only wanted to be back home. On that ride, I asked myself, What am I doing? Why am I here? I should be somewhere else. I should be in California with my family. I told myself I would finish the week (I arrived on a Tuesday) since I had a training to give the next day. When I got home, I took down the last calendar I would ever get from my grandma. There was a pine tree on the month of December. 
At the training, I felt strange around all my fellow volunteers. When people asked how my vacation went I didn't even know what to answer. As the days went by, things got easier. I felt at home again, and at the end of the week, I realized I didn't want to go home anymore. 
I've been in Nicaragua for almost 20 days and although I have the worst allergies of my entire life, I'm content with where I am. I've been trying to stay busy in and out of site. I've been teaching English to incoming high school students until the new school year starts in February. And even got asked to give a training on the benefits of trees and how to plant them at a fellow PCVs site nearby. This is exactly where I am supposed to be right now. I will see my family in less than five months for my brothers wedding in June and then I will only have 4 months left of my Peace Corps Service. Nicaraguans have always made me feel at home and the little things (like cows eating my front yard), make living away from home a little easier. 
And in response to everyone's question, my time home was amazing. I got to see and say good bye to my amazing grandmother. I got to spend some wonderful time with my grandpa who treated me to delicious Mexican meals, I got to have many laughs with my sister as I tried to sleep every night and she so casually rolled over me. Got to skateboard with my brother. Got some much needed home cooked meals, awesome goodnight hugs and fun shopping trips with my mom. Got to watch mine and my dad's favorite car show together after 18 months. And got to go to Disneyland with my future sister-in-law. Thanks for 3 wonderful weeks. 

Beware, long post ahead. That's what happens when I go two months without updating my blog.
​2015, came and went, and brought with it many triumphs and trials. This year has not been easy, but it sure has been interesting. There is a lot I learned and that I hope to share with other PCVs for advice, and for myself to remember how far I've come.

#1: Sometimes it's nice to remind yourself why you joined Peace Corps in the first place. It is very easy to get discouraged by the small irritations of your host country, and many a days I have said to myself WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I DOING HERE?! Or ask myself why do I even try? Do people even care? But guess what, THEY DO! It was not until two weeks ago during my sixth graders graduation ceremony did I feel a sense of appreciation. All of my students expressed to me how happy they were that I was able to share this past year with them and that they couldn't wait to be a part of my activities next year. Even though there are some days where I DO NOT want to interact with anyone in my site, at the end of the day, they really do enjoy having me around; even if they aren't as an environmental nerd as I am. So, remove yourself from the annoying situation and ask yourself, why did you join Peace Corps? For yourself? or for your Host country? It can be both. 

#2: Being sick does not mean DEATH. This is something I constantly need to remind myself because being sick SUCKS, period. But, that doesn't mean it's the end of the world. So I have diarrhea again, for the third time this month, doesn't mean I'm going to be cranky and miss out on Maria's awesome baptism party across the street. At the beginning when I would get sick, all I wanted to do was cry and be in the fetal position in my room (or the bathroom floor), but after having had the worst bacterial infection of my life during my trip to the states in October, I realized being sick doesn't mean I can't still have fun and enjoy what is going on. So Michelle, poop does not mean death, it just sucks. 

#3: ALWAYS leave your house at least ONCE per day. This is a tough one, but has helped me from becoming a hermit in my site. Everyone in my site thinks I leave every weekend to be in the capital since they rarely see me, that isn't true. It's simply that as an introvert, my weekends are time to recharge, ALONE. But, that doesn't mean that Friday through Sunday means that I should have NO human contact. It's helped keep me sane and forces me to leave the house even if it's just for five minutes to buy milk for my breakfast. I feel better in knowing that people don't think I no longer live there, and I get my daily dose of Vitamin D. 

#4: Always be open to ANYTHING. This is another tough one, because I like my comfort zones. I won't go as far as follow the SAY YES to everything model because that's just plain crazy. That means that I would have consumed multiple bull testicle soups, and iguana eggs during my service if I did. But, I have gotten to do a lot of awesome things during my service by being more open to trying new things, like swimming in lakes with volcanoes, God knows how much the water terrifies me. 

#5: NEVER be afraid to ask for help, especially when your health is involved. Not many people are aware of this, but during my Peace Corps service I developed an anxiety disorder and social phobia. It was something I struggled with for over a month before I decided to seek help. Waiting as long as I did only made my symptoms worse and I had no coping mechanisms to assist me. Leaving my room was a struggle every day and interacting with people was a constant challenge. I was unable to accomplish my duties as  Peace Corps volunteer but I was afraid to seek help for fear of being Med-evacd (medically evacuated due to health concerns). This story has a good ending, I was encouraged to get help and have been on the road to recovery, YAY! 

#6: You is kind, you is smart, you is important: Guess what...you're an awesome Peace Corps volunteer. Some of the best advice I ever received from RPCVs was to never compare myself to other Peace Corps Volunteers' service. Some volunteers can plan and execute 1000 awesome projects during their 27 month service, but that my friend is not me. I have worked hard to accomplish SIGNIFICANTLY less projects in my site than awesome PCV over there, but that doesn't mean I'm not awesome. We have accomplished so much and we are AWESOME! Our projects may be stressful and a surprise everyday, but they don't define us. Things are completely out of our control and projects may crash and burn days before it is going to be executed, but that doesn't mean we didn't give it our all. We may not receive constant appreciation (I never realized how necessary this is) but that doesn't mean we aren't. 

As always...time for pictures!

My boyfriend and I were very fortunate of being asked to be the God-parents of two awesome girls from one of my favorite families in my site. A privilege I never expected out of my Peace Corps service.

Last year I was fortunate enough to be invited to Thanksgiving dinner at the Ambassador's home, this year was spent at the Peace Corps Program Director's home with his family and other fellow PCVs. It was an amazing dinner and awesome company! Funny thing is that most of my photos from that night are of food or me with puppies

Last year, I enjoyed the sixth grade graduations from the audience, this year I was invited up to the main table and was able to hand out certificates to my students. Another amazing privilege :) I was also invited to the parties beforehand, and was able to teach my students how to play with a Frisbee.

Four months ago began the planning for my healthy living habits camp for incoming high school students. It started off as a small idea and became a multiple day camp for 60 youth from two different schools. Lots of planning paid off, "Campament Viviendo Saludable" was a success! It would have never accomplished it without the hard work from fellow PCVs and members from my community. 

Um...what happened to September?! I bet you're all wondering why in the world I would add the word poop to my title, well it is something that all PCVs are well acquainted with (some more than others) and my second trip to the states made me realize the weird subculture that is Peace Corps. But before I dive into that very "interesting" story, let's go back to September, which I swear was gone before I knew it.

September is a BIG month in Nicaragua...INDEPENDENCE DAY! Parades, dancing, music, bands, floats and too much sun is what one can expect on September 14 and 15. This is my second Independence day celebration I've been a part of in Nicaragua and it only got better, particularly because I knew most of the people participating so I felt like a proud mama bird seeing her chicks (students) parade through the streets of my site. And all though we all got soaked and covered in mud by the end of the day, everyone seemed to be having a blast. People were in the middle of the streets, on rooftops and cars, all to get a good view of the parade!!

In September I got to experience something I never thought I would in Nicaragua...I went to the circus. I have heard countless horror stories from other PCVs of their encounters with circuses in their sites, from creepy clown skits, to breaking bleachers, my expectations were pretty low to say the least. Boy was I taken by surprise. This circus was LEGIT! Real props, real tent, real food and REALLY NERVE WRACKING! The stunts these people performed, yesh! But my favorite part of all was when my boyfriend "forced" me to go up front and meet some of the cast members. This all started with the purchase of a light up toy he had gotten for a girl in his site. They then announced that all "children" who had purchased one of those light up thingys were going to be able to come up front and meet the cast from the movie Frozen. I thought oh how nice, we should lend that light up thing to a kid and let them enjoy that. Nope, we had purchased it and we were going to meet the terrifying 10 foot snowman Olaf. Needless to say, the next day at school all the kids were raving about how profe Michelle got to go to the stage of the circus. Night to remember. Sadly, the only photo we were able to get of that night looks horribly photo-shopped, I swear we were there though. 

In September, I was also able to accomplish one of my site goals, visit the famous Mirador Sandina (lookout point). It consisted of many rocky hills and countless stairs,but we finally made it to the top and were rewarded with an awesome view of my site. We were also able to spot the flashing circus lights way far out.

October could not come any sooner! I was able to share my second visit to the states with my boyfriend, travelling to see his brother get married. It was a great time meeting family and friends, eating way too much cheese, being so easily amused by everything in the states and having a blast in the Halloween section of Walmart (I could not stop laughing at imagining putting one of those enormous inflatable Halloween spiders in front of my house in Nicaragua). The smallest things amuse me now.
Going home is always interesting. All of a sudden, you are not the interesting "gringa" in your site. I blend right back into the states, as if I had never left. And you never know what life will throw at you, even the most unexpected things can happen...like a bacterial infection.Before dwelling into that story, here is a pic of me in a long skirt and shirt and still "freezing" in Texas after getting used to the smoldering heat that is Nicaragua

Okay you've been patient enough...let's talk about poop. For those readers who don't want to talk about poop, please disregard this next paragraph.
Since starting PC, I have had my fair share of "sicknesses", mostly bacterial infections that happen whenever THEY FREAKING WANT! Trust me, all my bacterial infections keep showing up at the WORST TIMES EVER! During it, you always feel like you are going to die, both physically and emotionally. I've learned from other PCVs and personally, that the best way to get over it is to just let it all out...hey that's not what I meant. I mean, talking about it to others makes being sick more lighthearted, because who doesn't enjoy a good poop story. So...STORY TIME. I have been asked by many prospective PCVs what it is like to be sick in the Peace Corps, and I am nothing but honest when it comes to sharing the worst of the worst. Again, readers be warned, these next paragraphs will be both hilarious and exceptionally embarrassing, so stop reading at any time.  
Bacterial infection #1: It was late April and I was busy preparing all of my paperwork for my "site visit" the next day. This is when one of the bosses come to a PCVs' site to see their work in action. It was the night before my site visit and my boss had arrived a day early and kindly invited me to dinner. That day I had been feeling a little odd, and not all that hungry. My boss took me to the best pizza shop in my town (where I can usually consume an entire pizza and the owners know me very well by now), but I forcefully eat two slices and knew something was up. She offered me the leftover pizza to take home which I denied because the last thing I wanted at that moment was more pizza (I regret giving up that pizza to today). We said our good nights and decided on a time to meet tomorrow for my site visit, that's when it all went south. All I remember from that night is weakly lying on the tile floor of my bathroom thinking, this is it. This is how it all ends. Oh, did I forget to mention that my host family was on vacation so of course I was all alone in my house. Somehow I made it back to bed and by the next morning was good as new :D My boss had no idea I had thought I was going to die in my Nicaraguan bathroom the night before. 
Bacterial infection #2: It was mid June, and I was in one of my sixth grade classrooms with a pretty bad tummy ache, waiting for the last hour of class (which is when I give my science class). When it was finally time, I stood up to give my class and I knew what was happening within seconds. I am standing in the front of the room staring at my students sway back and forth. The room gets blurry and my stomach begins to make horrible somersaults. I gripped the whiteboard to prevent front falling over when one of my students ask "Profe do you need to use the restroom". I remember thinking there is no way I'm going to make it but all I said was that I did not feel to well and that I had to go home, RIGHT NOW! My profe understood and said I could leave, the only thing was I knew I'd never make it all the way home. And so I went to a friend who live in front of the school and asked to use her restroom,this is where it gets really funny. When I got there, her husband was taking a shower to which I always started crying. Could this day get ANY WORSE!!? I told her I had to throw up (that was a lie) thinking it would speed her husband up. To which my friend kindly said, well Michelle if you can't hold it in just throw up on the bushes, I will clean it up...O_O Ummmm I will wait. And I am proud to say that I made it though yet another bacterial infection, the next day I was back to normal. 
Bacterial infection #3: Early October of this year...in the USA (who would have ever guessed). I do not remember eating or drinking anything that could have made me sick before leaving Nicaragua, but once I got to the states my body went crazy. Add on top having no medicine (I left it all in Nicaragua thinking I'd be safe in Texas) and WAY too much cheese at the wedding...not good combination. I was able to dance the pain away for most f the day, but the second I got back to bed, I knew exactly what I had. And this time it got be hard, no longer a baby 24 hour bacterial infection. And at this point all I could do was laugh. If I am not even safe in my own country from these, who knows where it will get me next!

So, for current PCVs, I know how you feel. For prospective PCVs, yes, you will get sick and at times feel like it is the end. But boy do they make great stories :D The first time I ever met my site mate they asked me, "So have you pooped your pants yet?" To which I thought was the most ridiculous thing ever. How could an adult just poop their pants...but it happens. I have not gotten to that point (yet), but hey I got one year left. Who know what and  where life will throw at me. To my friends and family who are reading this....yep this is my life (but only a tiny part of it). I love every part of being a Peace Corps Volunteer, and wouldn't change any part of it. I am going to love the remaining 13 months, bacterial infections and all. BRING IT ON NICARAGUA!!!

Last week, I had the great privilege of being chosen as one of the four PCV greeters for the new TEFL and environment group N66. It was one of the coolest experiences I've had in this country simply because I got to relive my orientation week from a year ago in Nicaragua. I got to spend my one year with some of my fellow N64 PCVs, catching up on the many ups and downs of our service and getting excited for the last 15 months of Peace Corps. I also got to spend it with the new trainees which was extra special because I was able to reflect and observe their pure excitement for joining Peace Corps, something that tends to dwindle as the months go by and the struggles begin. It was amazing being around such positivity and curiosity; it was a nice way to reflect on the last year and how my ideas and goals for my service have changed. It was also great getting to share with N66 all the fun parts of being a PCV from clogging your host fams bathroom to almost pooping your pants in front of your class. 

11 months in Nicaragua! 11 months of giving classes, speaking in Spanish, getting filled with dirt one too many times, building more gardens than I could handle, exploring the country, getting bit by countless mosquitoes, losing control of my bowels (woops, TMI there), and making beautiful memories. Yes, even when I almost pooped my pants in the middle of giving a class, I can say that that is one of the most memorable memories I have. Not a very fun memory, but gets laughs every time. So yes, I do have my downs (and boy are they down there), but the highs are so worth it. These past couple of months have been filled with gardens, basketball courts, graduations, Disneyland and too many weird sicknesses.

As a word of advice to incoming environment volunteers (or even future Michelle), never make four gardens in the same week. Your body will thank you physically and mentally. I can at least say now that I am a boss at making school gardens! And doing them together with my students made it easier to get through that intense week. Going home that weekend, I felt defeated in every possible manner. Until I went back to work and found one of my students holding a small tree in his hands. He is one of my favorite students from the ecological brigade; despite living in one of the orphanages of my community, h has never used his circumstance as an excuse to be a bad student. In fact, he is a marvelous student, excelling in every subject, being s role model for the class, a natural born leader, and an environmentalist at heart. He has definitely won a special place in my life. So back to the tree, he goes on to explain to me how he had so much fun making a school nursery, that he felt the orphanage needed one too, and began to grow his own. Not only that, after the school garden practicum, he began to grow his own fruits and vegetables at the orphanage as well, and since May I have been providing him with seeds and guidance as too how to properly grow and care for each plant. Paco* (as I will be calling him), is one of many students that give me the strength to get up in the morning when my body hurts too much to get out of bed. It moments like this that let me know that the future of Nicaragua's environment is in good hands, when there are people like Paco*  

In June I was blessed to go home for 10 awesome days! Those days away from Nicaragua were a time to relax with my dearly missed family and friends, indulge in way too much cheese and get the necessary time away from my site to miss it and get excited about new projects. Peace Corps is a tough experience for everyone; and a different shade of difficulty for everyone. Mine usually comes from feeling inadequate in my community, which happens to the PCVs who live in large communities like mine. Being home, I was able to step back and realize that no one is against me but myself; I am by biggest critic, but I can also be my biggest cheerleader. It just took being away from it all to realize that it's the little accomplishments that count, like all the friendships I have made. Despite beign excited to go back to Nicaragua while away, California was so dear to me and cannot express how much that trip back home was needed. Not everyone goes home during their service, but don't feel like it is not an option. If you are a perspective PCV and are thinking that being a volunteer means suffering all the time and never heading home because others won't, don't let that stop you. Go home and take care of yourself. Being in Peace Corps does not mean you have too miss every special moment going on back home. I got to see my only brother graduate from college, and got a well deserved vacation to D-Land, as well as reunited with all my dear friends and family. I can tell you this, I got to enjoy being very clean for 10 days since joining Peace Corps. Hot showers FOR THE WIN!

Another thing I learned these past couple of months is the importance of respecting others perspectives and services. Even though I am one of many 120+ PCVs in Nicaragua, all of our services are drastically different from each other. Yes we share many similarities, but the differences are what make each of our services special to each other. I hear time and time again, "It depends on your site", and that statement could not be truer. I was fortunate enough these past months to share some time at different volunteers communities, and share their ups and downs. First was my boyfriend Tom's site, which in comparison to mine is itty bitty. His site consists of no more than 7 blocks, but most of his schools are over an hour away WALKING, uphill on a dirt road with very little shade. While in my site due to it's size, we have 4 different public bus lines that takes around the entire city, as well as many taxis more than willing to take me to my destination. And the funny thing is, that the day I visited, we got a ride from a very nice man that took us half way. While I teach pure grade classes in the city, he teaches small multi-grade classes out in the middle of no-where! Despite the difficulties, he loves his schools and the students love him. Being a PCV in a smaller community, he knows everyone and everyone knows him. Even if I lived 10 years in my site, I'd never know everyone!

Then I was off to the Atlantic Coast. For those who don't know much about Nicaragua, it is pretty much divided into the Pacific and the Atlantic side. And let me tell you, the Atlantic side is nothing like the pacific side. From the culture, to the food to the music to the houses. Every time I go over there, it is like I am in a totally different country! Never fails to surprise me, from being fed turtle to finding people who speak five different languages but English is not one of them. The coast is a magical place, every time I am there it's like I enter the twilight zone. The volunteers who live there, hardly ever leave, because why would you ever want to leave that paradise. Many have to ride what are called pangas just to get back to their site, and a trip to the capital is more than 10 hours on public transportation! It makes my 2.5 air conditioned bus ride seem like nothing! And yet I still manage to get bags of stuff dropped on my head every time I leave my site, must be a sign. 
This time, my trip to the coast came with a purpose. I went to help a fellow PCV and an international NGO work on a basketball court at one of her schools. I thought it was going to be easy, hard work but nothing like what we experienced! Everyday brought on a new twist, from crazy rain, to dengue, to mystery bacterial infections! We got it ALL! Despite that, working with that wonderful NGO for a week was exactly what I needed as I am nearing my one year mark. Seeing the young and excited faces of all the volunteers, helped rejuvenate in me my love for international development. Courts for Kids is an NGO that is doing is RIGHT! Their mission and projects are on the money when it comes to bringing both a much needed service to an international community, but also works hard on community integration among all participants. They wanted to be right there in the middle of it all. No fancy hotels or meals for them. We slept on hard wet mattresses and they couldn't have it any other way! It was tough work; we didn't spend a single day dry and free of dirt or cement. We took cold bucket baths in the school restroom every night, and were back at it the next morning. Getting to help on this project along with other fellow PCVs has definitely been one of the highlights of my entire service so far!

Where has the time gone! I have been in country for almost 11 months. Soon, the new group of PCTs (Peace Corps Trainees) will be joining our beautiful country, as N66, and my group and I will get to celebrate one year of surviving (to the best of our abilities) in Nicaragua! In honor of the new group, this post will be all for them, and future PCTs. I remember when I was in their position, sitting at home in sunny California, sleeping in, wearing PJs all day and watching too many hours of t.v. before the big day came. Looking back, I wish I'd cherished some of my favorite meals more, other than friends and family that is on the top of the list of things I miss from the states. 
So no more waiting, let's get straight to the questions:

1. PCMI, How does that work during service? (Can ignore if not a PCMI student)
    That depends on your schools requirements and expectations. My school has been very understanding, and they told me I did not have to worry about looking at anything school related until my second year of service. In regards to site placement, no I do not believe you can use it to your advantage. One thing I am always told is that Peace Corps and Grad school are too separate entities, that PCMIers just happen to be doing at the same thing. So yes you are welcome to mention that you are working on a project, thesis, etc. during your site interview (around half way through training). I mentioned my skills and focus of study and was fortunate enough to be placed in a site where I can work on my PCMI requirements (but I really don't think that was the reason I was placed there). As for communicating with your school/advisors/etc. that is based on how often you need to be in contact with them. I am placed in a large city, with wifi almost on a daily basis, but I've maybe contacted my advisor twice since being here simply because my school understand that my PC duties come before my degree duties.  

2.Internet access, is that a thing in Nicaragua?
   Get used to hearing this statement, "depends on your site". In my current case yes. I had wifi in my training home and I have internet access on a daily basis now as a PCV. Both my schools (even my rural one) have wifi, my central park has wifi (as many of the larger cities do) and there are cybers almost on every block! But some sites are smaller, more rural that do not have wifi at their schools or central parks, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that the majority if not all PCVs in Nicaragua have access to a cyber. You can also buy a modem (which is what I did), and you can put money on it whenever you what wifi. MAKE SURE that your site has good coverage, some PCVs do not have good coverage and there the modems don't work in their site. It cost maybe 15-20 dollars to buy a modem, and I pay a dollar for 12 hours of wifi access. What's a modem you ask, here's a pic of mine:

3. Training, what will that be like?
     N66 has been blessed with 13 weeks of training. They seem like an eternity but next thing you know you'll be a PCV. During training you'll be PCTs. Training consists of three things: language, technical and cultural. You will be divided into TEFL and ENV, each group living in one of these departments: Carazo or Masaya. Your specific city within those departments depends entirely on your language level. You will be tested during your first week in country (may even be the second day in country) and then are shipped off along with your language group. Each town have from 3-5 volunteers (mine had 4). You all live pretty close to each other and will be your closest support during training. No matter your level of Spanish, YOU WILL ALL be adequate or close to it by the end (so don't stress too much about this). Training is LOTS of work. When you are not in a 6 hour long Spanish class (5 days a week), you are in one of the technical or cultural sessions. For these sessions everyone from your group gets together, either ENV or TEFL (enjoy seeing everyone that often). Here is a list of examples: cross-cultural behaviors, food and water safety, how to make surveys, gardening, pesticides, tree nurseries and compost (specific to ENV volunteers), developing lesson plans, classroom management techniques, nutrition, common illnesses and many more. You'll all get a binder with dividers for each week, USE IT! I love mine, and glad I kept all my hand-outs and notes for each session. You will feel very tired during these 13 weeks because when you finally have "free time", most would suggest taking advantage and talking with your training host family. Learn how to make a Nicaraguan meal, ask them to show you around town. I became very close to my training family and still call them often. 

4. Can I and will I have time to travel?
   The short answer yes, but it will depend on your permanent site to determine if traveling will be an easy or a hassle for you. Living in a large Departmental capital city, I have buses to and from my site almost every half hour. I can get to the capitol in 2 hours and have buses to other popular cities as well. Other PCVs, like those who live on the Atlantic coast must take multiple buses and pangas (boats). I took a trip out there and it was a total of 14 hours! So many PCVs who live out there rarely leave their sites. Don't expect to do too much traveling as a PCT, I went on a couple short trips with my host fam but was too busy for anything else. Also, as a PCT you cannot leave the Department you are in unless for a PC training. You'll have plenty of time to see the country once you are PCV, so don't feel like you are trapped. Oh forgot to mention the best part: OOS and Vacation days. So once you are a PCV, you will get 3 OOS days (Out of Site days) to use as you please. You can use them all at the same time, or divide them through out the month. And you MUST use them that month, no roll overs for OOS. Some months you'll use them all, others you won't use a single one. You will also get 2 vacation days a month once you become a PCV. These can roll over, and these are the ones you can use to go back to the states or travel to another country. (I didn't use a single vacation day, so I was able to go back to the states with 12 vacation days). If you want to use an OOS day you need to report it (this will be explained with more detail at the end of training), the same with vacation days. Of, you don't get any OOS or vacation days during training. And another important thing, your first two months of training are cut: 1 month in site you only get 1 OOS, and the second month 2. This is a rule put in place for good reasons, because your first two months in your permanent site are very crucial, and you shouldn't be leaving too much anyways. I used my one day in November for Thanksgiving, and my two to take a trip with my host family for Christmas. This is another thing you need to take into consideration, whether ENV or TEFL, we are education volunteers meaning we have ACTUAL jobs where we are expected to be at. 

5. Can other people visit me?
   Again short answer, yes. But they CANNOT during training. I believe it is also HIGHLY recommended you have no visitors during your first three months in your permanent site. Like mentioned above, you will be too busy integrating in your site, and you will have NO vacation days or OOS days to even leave your site. If someone came to visit, they'd be stuck in your site the entire time. So when would be a good time to visit? I would suggest Semana Santa in late March early April. It is en entire week off of school. Or, at the mid year break for all schools in July where you have an entire week off of school. As education volunteers, you will have most of December and all of January off which are the first three months in your site. The first year will be tough because you can't leave site, and you can't really get outside visitors. But many PCVs take advantage of that long break their second year and have their friends and families visit then. And there are lots of cool things going on during December in Nicaragua. 

6. Host families, what's that like?
    During training, the majority of you will be placed with a family that has had multiple PCTs or even PCVs live with them. As a PCT you MUST live with a host family. They have all been properly trained by Peace Corps on how to properly care for you, but may need some reminding on some things. I was the 14th to live with my training host family, so they knew exactly what they were dealing with. They understood that Americans like A LOT of fruits and veggies. They understand that reading for me was fun. And they were never offended when I just needed some alone time in my room to wind down from the hectic trainee life. A few will be placed with families where you will be the first real home stay they will have from America. You may have to explain to them what a vegetarian is. Word of advice, if something is not going well, say something. Nicaraguan families are some of the kindest people you'll ever meet, it just takes some getting used to adapting to cultural differences. 
   In Peace Corps Nicaragua, you are required to live with a host family, whether it be a room in their home, or a  separate casita on their property. You will be assigned a family for your first two months in your permanent site, and then you can decide whether you want to stay or find a new family (for whatever reason). I moved from my first home simply because it was very hard getting to and from my job and home, but I became great friends with them and visit my first host family on a weekly basis. My new home situation is very different from most. I live with a young couple who lets me cook for myself so I make sure to get a well balanced meal. With my first host family, they made me my meals but I also bought extra things to supplement my meals to stay healthy. This will be something you will have to individually settle with your own host family. 

7. What does a daily day look like for you?
    The awesome thing about being an education PCV is that we have an actual job to start with as our primary job. You don't need to stress about wondering what your first project will be. Monday through Friday I work at two schools (one rural one urban), and I only teach 6th grade science. Depending on your site, you may have only rural or only urban schools, and they may either be pure or mulitgrade. Work starts at 7, so I am usually up at 5 am to get ready for work. I make my own breakfast, and then take one the many public buses in my site to get to work. Three days a week I work from 7-noon, and the two from 12:30-5pm depending on what school I am at. When not at school, I am at one of my professors home co-planning our next classes, preparing materials or simply just hanging out. 
   On free days, I like to read, explore my site, do laundry (yeah I actually really enjoy hand washing my clothes), watch a movie, visit a nearby PCV, treat myself to my favorite smoothie shop in my site, draw, or hang out with my host sister. But this will vary so much on you own site and personality. I was an extrovert back in the states, but now when I have down time I enjoy spending it at home by myself taking time to recharge. 

8. What school materials should I bring?
   This is a fantastic question. Here is a list of materials I am SO HAPPY I brought with me: good scissors (better make it two), couple glue sticks, mini stapler, staples box, a packet of markers, crayons and colored pencils, lots of pens and lead pencils, packet of white board markers, but most importantly LIFE SUPPLY of STICKER PACKETS! You would never guess what a sticker can do. Target and Michaels have great and very cheap sticker packets. This is the one thing I always make sure to get in care packages and just stocked up on my supply when I went back to the states. Depending on your site, you may have access to great school supply stores, somethings are a bit pricey though. 

9. Dress code?
   I come from California, so this is something I am still adjusting to. Do women wear skirts and shorts in my site, yes. As many Nicaraguan women do in almost every part of the country, but my own personal decision was not to wear them outside do to unwanted attention. Girls, it exists, and lots of it! So I stick to jeans, capris or long dresses. And save my shorts and shorter skirts for more touristy towns. In regards to swim suits, that will depend on your own comfort. Swim suits are not really a thing in this country unless you are a tourist. I brought a very conservative swim suit and got comments from my host family. Nicaraguans go swimming in their regular clothes, some men won't even remove their shirts to go swimming. I know other volunteers who feel very comfortable wearing just about anything in their site, so it will all depend on your own personal comfort level. I gauge my wardrobe based on what my community wears. 

10. Can I find this is Nicaragua?
    Honestly, almost anything can be found in Nicaragua from Nutella to seaweed, it just takes knowing exactly where to find it. Some coveted American goodies are easier to find than others, and the prices range from cheaper than the states, same price or that's gonna cost me half my months pay. You will soon become very familar with the BIG grocery stores like MAXI PALI, which can be found in almost any large city (I have one in my site). Here i can get Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Peanut Butter, Olive Oil, spices, and other things. But stores like La Union and La Colonia is where it's at. Other than Managua, these stores are not as easy to come by, so take advantage when you do find one. At these stores you can get such things like Nutella and Hummus, but it's gonna cost you. If they are things you can't live without (like me with Nutella) than you'll make it work. Peanut butter can be found, and in certain sites you can make you own. 

11. Will I get sick?
   Yeah, you will. But getting sick is a spectrum in this country. Some volunteers get it bad pretty early on (training), some get maybe a fever twice a year and that's that. I've gotten sick twice (both times only a 24 hour thing). I felt like I was dying, but in comparison to what other PCVs get, it was no big deal. It all comes down to having good hygiene and being an advocate for yourself. Many PCVs find it hard rejecting water or other drinks when visiting community members knowing the possibilities of getting sick. Know your limits and don't be afraid to set them. My community knows I do not drink anything caffeinated, which was hard at first in a country where coffee is very popular. PC will do a great job at training you in regards to common and not so common illnesses. Do worry, we've all been there. Certain things like Malaria, Dengue, Chikungunya and Zika (all transmitted by mosquitoes) can be drastically lowered by simply sleeping with a mosquito net, wearing bug spray and protective clothing. 

12. Are pets allowed?
   This will depend on your living situation. Both my training and permanent site families already had pets of their own so I just decided to love those rather than get my own. But many PCVs get pets. Cats and dogs are pretty popular. Cats are easier to maintain than dogs and can help keep your house free of critters. If you get a pet, you must take into consideration the possible downsides. Like what happens to Fido when I want to take a week long vacation to the coast, or go back to the states? What do I do when my dog eats the neighbors chicken (this happens a lot). How will I afford to feed them, and keep them healthy? Also, cats and dogs are not seen like pets in the states. My dog is the states is my baby, a member of the family. You will get laughed at if you mention that here. It is not bad, simply different culture. My host family has two healthy and happy pit bulls that I love very much (this is not very common. Many Nicaraguans have pets for protection rather than companionship, so take that into consideration if you are going to get a pet and live with a host family. But there are many PCVs who would say their service would not be the same without their beloved pet.

13. What should I cherish while still in the states?
    Other than friends and family, FOOD! Coming from California, I miss have variety of everything, from fresh fruits and veggies, to food options. I miss sushi, a good slice of pizza, Mexican food, Indian food, cheddar ruffles to name a few. But there are also some weird things I never thought I'd miss. Like carpet! And a good patch of grass to walk on (lawns are not a thing in this country). 

N66, and those to come after: You will do great. Will it be hard? Yes. But it will also be amazing, beautiful and all totally worth it! The memories and people you will meet; the skills you will gain will not be attained anywhere else. I hope my post shines some light on some of your questions, and just know that what isn't figured out yet, will be in due time. Cannot wait to meet you all and share this crazy ride with you. Welcome to the family :D